Barb C. asks“…how does one begin the process in a family when there is not a trust-love bond? One member is feeling a deficit and the other is confident. How are they able to have and experience a deeper level” relationship and embrace each other to the fullest?

A trust-love bond in a relationship is something that takes continual practice.  I feel that the bond is always being challenged in the process of everyday living.  There is an ebb and flow to it.  The one thing that needs to be in place for any relationship to work is mutual respect. Respect is built through honesty and openness. If respect exists, the changes that occur on a daily basis have no lasting consequences.  They are simply the tides of life, and are not given more weight than they deserve.

This leads to the second part of the question.  “How are people able to have a deeper level of relationship and embrace each other to the fullest when one is feeling a deficit and the other is confident?”

In the course of everyday living it is natural that there are ups and downs in how confident we feel. Also, there are times where you feel trapped, stuck or insignificant.  These are the times when we need our relationship more than ever.  Not to judge us, have an opinion or even give us advice, but to accept us just as we are.

As long as there is judgment it is difficult to find the room to change but with acceptance there is all the space in the world available for change.

Patrick and I are often on different pages of emotional ground.  We actually are grateful that the other is there to be our cheerleader.  To have someone that loves us without conditions on how we are or how fast we are moving in life.

True relationship and love requires nothing.  If that person never changes will you still love them?  If the answer is yes, than notice the judgments and expectations you have for that person and change your mind!!    Thanks for the great question,  Nancy

Filed under: Relationship Discussion