First, lacking money and worry takes the focus off creating a loving and peaceful relationship. When there is uncertainty in our financial life, it creates an inner struggle. This inner struggle has to do with two issues: trust and confidence. We lose trust in the future, this creates doubt, and our confidence is shaken. It is a problem because these are like “termites in our soul” that keep eating away, a little at a time. We can try to keep our worried attitude to ourselves but in reality we can’t hide anything from those close to us. Our attitude affects everyone around us, including and especially, our spouse and children. However, a great freedom we all have is the ability to change our attitude. Economic challenges are real, but the way we view them and our attitude has a great deal to do with how we ride out the storm.

The question then is, how can we change our thinking and attitude? How do we get our trust and confidence back in the midst of economic challenge?

Here are eight ways to change how we think about things, and change our attitude in challenging times:

1. “Live” more in the solution and less in the problem. Spend more time on what is possible and less time on how bad things are. Much less time in resentment and thinking that this “should have never happened to you.” Solution is more fun and creative than worry.

2. Don’t blame others (especially your spouse) for the problem. Even if you think they are responsible, being right about that will get you nowhere.

3. If you do look at the past, look at the number of times things have worked out even though you worried and fretted.

4. A great action you may take is to dump all the unnecessary material stuff that you worry about . We all can simplify our lives. “Stuff” is fun but it has nothing to do with real happiness. Whatever you let go of now you can buy later if you really want to.

5. There will always appear to be more successful and less successful people than you so comparisons don’t work very well.

6. Your true character will show up in tough times, let it be something you are proud of when everything changes for the better (which it will).

7. Do something fun and give some money to a good cause. It will change your life the moment you do it.

8. The last and way most important is faith. There is a great story in Matthew 8:23-27. It is about the great storm on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus awoke to the lack of trust and confidence of his disciples. They were afraid for their lives in a very real storm. Jesus calmed the waves and then he asked the disciples:

“Why are you so afraid? Where is your faith?”

No matter what your beliefs, this is a great question to ask ourselves. I think it is important to remember that no matter what the challenge is, it will pass.

~ Patrick and Nancy Dean

Filed under: Relationship Discussion