Sometimes we say to ourselves “I wish I didn’t have any problems”. I think we have all thought or said this a sometime. In this short blog we would like to talk about another perspective on problems. One of the most heartbreaking things Nancy and I have experienced in thirty years of relationship and leadership training is a person who has never experienced a major setback in life. People who have never really had anything go wrong, or have never had any major challenges in life, are totally lost when life does serve up a major problem. They are bewildered and resentful that “it could happen to them.” They are often at a loss as to what the next step should be and are confused when life “turns against” them. Never having had a real problem to solve leaves people feeling helpless and vulnerable. In a relationship, they don’t know how to handle money problems, sickness, loneliness, or any other issue that couples typically face.

Another way to look at problems: Problems and challenges build character. Problems contribute positively to our abilities. Although difficult when dealing with them, problems give us opportunities to practice patience and compassion. The real gauge of how you are doing is if the same problem occurs over and over. If this is the case, it is time to get some coaching or training. If you have a different or even bigger problem, it means you are moving forward in life!

In relationship problems, whether external or within the relationship, there are opportunities to operate from a position of honesty and trust and take effective action. With practice you will get better and better at solving life’s problems.

If you approach your problems with the knowledge that you are going to learn something and that this has value, it becomes easier to solve.  Our couples coaching is always based on solving and learning from problems in such a way that the same proble is much easier to solve next time. Patrick and Nancy

Filed under: Uncategorized